"Treat Others the way You want to be Treated" - Golden Rule
Gold is fine, I mean it's better than silver or bronze but really, do YOU want to be treated like someone ELSE!
That's what the golden rule espouses. Treat others the way you would treat yourself.
You don't want to be treated like me (trust me here!) and I don't want to be treated like you.
You want to be treated the way YOU WANT to be treated!
So how do you find out how someone else wants to be treated so you can treat them the way THEY want to be treated?
Listen, I mean REALLY LISTEN when you talk to them. Listening is a "full-contact" sport!
Listen with your eyes, what is their non-verbal communication saying to you.
Listen with your body language. Lean in just a little bit so you can minimize background noise and clearly hear them.
Categorize the information you are getting (DISC personality method - Guy Harris and Kevin Eikenberry).
There are two types of personalities and two types of motivators
Your Personality is either Outgoing or Reserved
Your Motivation is either Tasks or People
While listening, pick up on clues as to their personality and their motivators. (there are specific questions you can ask during a polite conversation that will disclose these to you but for that you will need to read this book.)
There are four main quadrant types/colors:
Based on the information that you get from your conversation you can place the person in the correct quadrant.
Place the person based on their personality and motivation.
Task/Outgoing = Dominate/Red
People/Outgoing = Inspiring/Yellow
Task/Reserved = Cautious/Blue
People/Reserved = Supportive/White
Treat them the way they want to be treated:
Task/Outgoing = Treat them like they are in charge.
People/Outgoing = Treat them like they are the most interesting person in the world.
Task/Reserved = Respect and show understanding for their point of view.
People/Reserved = Be gentle and kind, soft-spoken and approachable.
Treat people the way they want to be treated and they will be much more willing to help you with what you want (employment, raise, promotion, advice, service, help, etc.)
There is much more that you can learn on the subject. The book "The Art of Managing People" by Phillip Hunsaker and Anthony Alessandra offers a very detailed outline of how to use the Platinum Rule.